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Coffee of Doom specials

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The Coffee of Doom Specials on the blackboard are most often jokes by the Coffee of Doom staff, typically involving black humor (e.g., "We stab you so you can call in sick").

User beaniesue on the LiveJournal QC group compiled a list of CoD specials through comic 1432 and updated it to show Coffee of Doom specials through mid-2010.

10

  • Rockin Latte
  • Black Metal Mocha
  • Emospresso
  • Electroclash Frappe
  • “Tip us or we will kill again”

82

  • Latte w/ Bourbon-flavored syrup
  • Fried Egg Mocha
  • Shot of espresso and a punch in the mouth
  • “We are surly because you suck”

101

  • Flavors of teh day
  • Sextuple espresso
  • Latte of DOOM
  • Vodkoffee!

167

  • Today’s Specials
  • “Yum” Triple Chocolate Mocha
  • “Eww!” – Triple Pork Mocha
  • “Fuck you, bladder” – 60 oz. coffee
  • “Starbucks is for assholes”

239

  • Triple Chocolate mocha
  • Triple mocha chocolate
  • Spam, spam, spam, mocha, and spam
  • We stab you so you can call in sick
  • “Please do not poke the baristas”

279

  • Today is Free Beating Day
  • for more info, please annoy the nearest employee

325

  • Red Bull and Peanut Butter
  • Espresso in espresso
  • No-Doz 20oz

360

  • Triple espresso brownie
  • Triple brownie espresso
  • We Prank-Call your Boss
  • TEA OF DOOM (x eyes dead smilie face)

397

  • A sharp blow to the back of the head
  • Tea (tea is for wimps)
  • Pseudomocha
  • Wedgies!

419

  • Regular ol’ coffee (with snakes)
  • Regular ol’ tea (with more snakes)
  • Snakes (with spiders)

439

  • We’re remodeling
  • Make up your own damn specials

467

  • Chaitea
  • Chaicoffee
  • Gincoffee
  • Noogies!

537

  • Double Chocolate Mocha
  • We hit you with the broom
  • We hit your stupid friend with the broom
  • Mass-brooming!

574

  • Quadruple Espresso Monstrosity
  • Carnivorous Plant Latte
  • DICK Cookies!

615

  • Coffee with a scone in it
  • Scone with a cookie in it
  • Your ass with a hamster in it

651

  • Waiting in line
  • Crankiness
  • Beatings

692

  • Spicy Mocha
  • Spicy Latte
  • Turkey Bomb

725

  • Nothin’ yet!

734

  • Spraypaint latte
  • Jerky mocha
  • Free punch from our new employee!

751

  • 2 for 1 espresso
  • Free SPAM? w/ purchase
  • Lemons

790

  • Think about dogs
  • Think about dongs
  • Think about dugouts

810

  • Mocha w/a battery in it
  • Pile of screws
  • Lasers!

853

  • Cat hair latte
  • Espresso w/ pipe tabacco
  • Bucket o’ fish
  • A single coffee bean, lovingly pounded into your forehead

880

  • “Team Samosa” – Virgin Mimosa
  • F.I.S.T. full of coffee 

886

  • Dill Mocha
  • Hemp latte
  • Dennis Kucinich

898

  1. Oreo Latte
  2. Caramel Mocha
  3. Wikipedia Vandalism Espresso

902

  1. Chocolate Americano
  2. We Pinch you and Put It on Youtube

906

  • The Specials are Cancelled
  • Until we get some fucking tips, people!

958

  • Metallica Mocha
  • Megadeth Milkshake
  • Mastodon Muffins

970

  • You give us money, we give you coffee
  • Lolcat latte

Template:AC

  • WE FIRE A HARPOON
  • INTO YOUR FACE

991

  • Chupacabralatte
  • Bigfoot 22-oz espresso
  • Yeti cannolli

1001

  • Hang on hang on dang it

1013

  • Portal Muffin Cube
  • Half-Latte: Episode I
  • Team Fortress Frappe

1031

  • Muffin Shaped Like Laura Bush
  • Muffin Shaped Like Rachel Ray
  • Muffin Shaped Like a Dog Fighting a Crow

1037

  • Hurrrrrrr

1055

  • Bacon Muffin
  • Bacon Espresso
  • Bacon Latte (vegan)

1061

  • Space muffin

1086

  • A tic tac toe puzzle
  • OXO
  • XXO
  • XOX 

1093

  • Pour a 40 for Gygax

1121

  • Cup o’ Peas
  • Cup o’ bees
  • Cup o’ pee

1136

  • NO GUM ALLOWED IN CoD ANYMORE

1151

  • Mocha w/ a hair in it
  • Latte w/ apple core
  • Scone of Bone

1179

  • Raccoon Scone
  • Pidgeon Macchiatto
  • Fleas

1205

  • Cat-hair latte
  • Litterbox Brownie
  • Daft Punk @ 200 dB

1231

  • Honey latte
  • Nutty Mocha
  • Cup o’ Bees

1255

  • EROTIC TOAST

1270

  • Faux-coroa
  • Pseudo-latte
  • Metacrino

1276

  • Were pretty good, for a ska band

1288

  • We murder your pet and burn your house down
  • $3.95

1307

  • .coffee {class:organic;
  • variety:ethiopian;
  • flavor: #hazelnut;}

1311

  • Abominable latte
  • Yellow snow chai
  • Hypothermia

1323

  • Fuck
  • You

1357

  • Peppermint latte
  • Aniseed mocha
  • Ferret muffins
  • Fresh!

1360

  • ½ price bagels
  • 2x price muffins
  • Bacon latte

1403

  • Concrete latte
  • Steel ?
  • Unionization
  • Brownies
  • POOP
  • LOL

1432

  • Habanero scones
  • Chorizo latte

1446

  • Robo Latte
  • Machinesspresso
  • Crush

1479

  • Whale-flavored latte
  • ambergris tea
  • BLOOD + THUNDER

1507

  • chococaramocha
  • megalatte
  • farts

1529

  • Moose Latte
  • Moose Mocha
  • Trampling

1538

  • Murlock Mocha
  • Cthulhu Chai
  • Eldritch Muffins

1558

  • Free Children
  • (ask around back)

1581

  • Sex Pony Mocha
  • Humpy Sound Latte
  • Butts LOL

1590

  • Cinammon latte
  • blueberry scone
  • no small talk, please

1615

  • Death Metal Latte

1637

  • yerba mate latte
  • flamed orange peel mocha
  • BLOOD TREE MOCHA

1665

  • Nothing yet, hold yer fuckin' horses

1673

  • FRESH
  • FUCKIN'
  • BAGELS

1704

  • Banana Mocha
  • Banana Brownies
  • Banana Bread
  • We got way too many bananas

1707

  • Yak butter in everything!

1758

  • ? new employee: $1
  • Spank new employee: $20,000

1780

  • NOTHING TODAY,
  • JERKS

1805

  • none today.
  • fuck off.

1845 (Secret Bakery)

  • espresso ~1.5
  • latte ~3
  • mocha ~4
  • americano ~2.5
  • macchiato ~4
  • iced? Sure!

1856

  • ? sausage latte
  • granola mocha
  • crunchy chai

1880

  • cayenne mocha
  • tequila latte (w/worm)
  • cactus up the butt

1907

  • ?
  • ?
  • ? pie?

2079

  • bone marrow scones
  • bone marrow latte
  • BONE MARROW

2209

  • BLOOD LATTE
  • SCAB MOCHA
  • BONE AMERICANO
  • HOT DOG MUFFIN

2239

  • Bone Meal
  • Marrow Mocha
  • Rawhide ?
  • Butts LOL
  • I bet you wanna get all up in TAI’S business

2274 (guest strip)

  • FREE enema

2280

  • /\   /\
  • o   o
  •     _
  • ASK ME HOW TO DRAW A KITTY!

2316 (guest comic)

  • SPATHE HAM
  • FISH HEADS
  • UNSHELLED WALNUT MUFFINS
  • A KICK IN THE SHIN

2373

  • Ghost Pepper Mocha
  • Buffalo Scones
  • Really shitty granola

2424

  • Deconstructed Latte
  • Postmodern Mocha
  • “Honey” “Buns”

2527

  • go back to bed

2546

  • Say hello to our new employee, Dale!  :-)

2574

  • Punch the new guy: $1
  • ? $50

2585

  • you are very special

2695

  • Have a drink prepared by unpaid child labor

2915

  • Kale ?
  • Kale Mocha
  • Kale ?

2987 (guest comic)

  • Pumpkin spice pumpkin
  • K-cup Mocha Latte

3012

  • Sausage Latte
  • Beef scone
  • blood muffin

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